Know your Samurai
by RogueWarrior869
Summary: Remember for the Shounenai I am a KyuKatsu fan.. there hints at every pairing you can think of...at least I hope it came out good. Anywho this is a Parody of Know your Stars. Lemme know if it too closely resembles anyone else's and I'll make the changes..
1. Shimada Kambei

Document Opened.10/15/2006. 05:45-46am.

Authors Note:

This humor fic will contain Shounen-ai hints..

I know Know your stars has been done multiple times on different Anime but that skit is funny and I wanted to do one too so with-out further ado to kick things off lets start with Shimada Kambei..

Not knowing how are he got to this place which happened to be a stage looking area with a stool upon which he sat.

But of what none of them know is that the others all had the same problem except they were being forced to stay quiet. Stages aren't cheap ya know!

But not a second later a couple of spotlights came down and he had too put his hand over his eyes, It was then the voice came.

"_Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai..."_

"Who are you?"

"_Lets meet Kambei Shimada.."_

"What?"

_"Kambei is secretly a deep voiced older woman."_

"That's absurd!"

He wasn't sure but he thought he might have heard muffled giggling from nearby.

"_When no one else is around Kambei likes to style his hair.."_

"That's not true."

_"Then explain why it's so wavy." _

"That's how it always is! What is the point of this!?"

_"Kambei Shimada is a very cranky person.."_

"Just thoroughly annoyed."

he huffed than got comfortable on his stool seeing as he may be here a little longer.

_"Kambei Shimada is a toddler with a sword."_

"That's not even possible! I have grayish hair and a goatee for crying out loud!"

_"Kids these days do grow-up fast and you were crying out-loud."_

"That's an expression..and...Ugh..forget it."

"_His sword is named princess."_

"No it's not! That's a females name for things anyway!."

_"Aren't you a deep voiced older woman?"_

"Of course not!"

_"Kambei Shimada is a very dis-agreeable person."_

"Nothing you've said has made sense."

He was more than ready to leave this place, Wherever it was.

_"Kambei Shimada is in in love with Kyuzo."_

"His skills yes."

From Kyuzo's spot he smirked and even in the dark got a look at the one he liked.

Katsushiro.

_"Kambei loves to play Hop-scotch."_

"I've never even heard of that game!?"

_"Kambei Shimada enjoys singing in the rain."_

"I've never done that?"

_"Kambei Shimada is wanted for identity theft."_

"What are you talking about?"

_"Remember episode one and two."_

"I used those names to help save a child from a madman."

_"Tell that to the people whose identities you stole."_

"What? This makes no sense! Those were just names I used."

_"Uh huh. Fine I believe you if Kambei is even your real name."_

"Of course it is!"

He was getting a headache from this.

_"Now you know, Now you know, Now you know Kambei Shimada."_

"But none of that is true."

He proceeded to rub his temples.

The spotlight faded out from him and onto...

Gorobei.

Like it? Hate? Care to let me know?

I had some plans to work on a chapter of another story and then at some-point this comes and won't go away.--.

Later people!

Document finished. 10/15/2006. 06:27am.

10/15/2006. 06:45am.

Geesh I had to correct the next victim err chapter star.

For purposeful reasons Heihachi comes a little later..

Officially later people!..

10/15/2006...06:47am

Ugh same day..07:00am just added the Identity theft thing. Just about to upload when that came and would not leave.--.

Bye for now.. same day 07:01am.


	2. Katayama Gorobei

Document Opened.10/18/2006. 01:58 am.

Authors Note:

I'm working on new chaps for my other S7 fics..

Same for this one.

Well time for Katayama Gorobei..

The spotlight did it's little dance and the announcer started.

_"Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai."_

The light went over Gorobei's head.

_"Lets meet Katayama Gorobei."_

For some reason he had a bad feeling but maybe that was because of Kambei's turn not long ago.

So he settled himself in his stool.

_"Katayama Gorobei...is in trouble for copying the matrix." _

"What are you talking about?"

_"Remember your slow motion spinning and catching/ breaking arrow darts in your first episode appearance.?"_

"I've never even heard of the matrix."

_"Uh-huh, we believe you."_

"It's the truth."

The announcer decided to move on.

Music started to play.

_"Katayama Gorobei...likes red heads and he cannot lie._

_The other Samurai won't deny that when a red head walks in with a mop of red hair in your face you get..._

"Stop that!"

In his opinion this was messed up.

_"Kat...ayam..a Gor..obei..._

It sounded like the announcer was having difficulties.

Some other announcer came on.

_"Due to technical difficulties you will have to wait a little while but upon return we are switching over to another person. We leave you with some music for your entertainment. Good day."_

But with suspenseful jaws theme playing kind of scenario the real music that started playing was...none other than...Elevator Music and Easy listening!

Authors Note:

I know it was short but I'll probably be back at a later date to add something else since I don't know that much about Gorobei.

The song parody was Sir-Mix-Alots I like Big Butts.

_That's getting a fic all it's own later on.._

Next victim..err guest shall be Heihachi,,

Have a good day err night or both or whatever..

Finished.10/18/2006. 03:30am.


	3. Hayashida Heihachi

Document opened. 10/19/2006. 07:14pm.

Authors Note:

Okay here is another hopefully funny chapter of Know your Samurai,

Our victim err volunteer this time around is Heihachi Hayashida..

After around 5 minutes of what seemed like an eternity of elevator and

easy listening the system was fixed and we can vaguely see a variety of bored to death characters with funny looks on their faces.

Some looked like screaming in terror.

But onto the latest, Heihachi Hayashida.

The music stopped and someone that sounded like Kiku and Katsu shouting finally.

The spotlights did their thing and the lights showing Heihachi sitting happily on his stool thinking of rice probably.

"_Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai, Know your Samurai..."_

"Um hello,"

He looked a little bit confused but waved anyway, Despite the fact if anyone could see him or not.

_"Let's get to know Hayashida Heihachi."_

"Um okay."

_"Hayashida Heiahchi...Has hair the color of a carrot."_

"Hey,...maybe."

_"Hayashida Heihachi...has been associated with this riddle._

_How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."_

"I don't get it. I haven't been associated with that riddle?"

_"You have been now."_

"What is the point of this?"

Heihachi was annoyed by this guy.

_"To know your Samurai of course."_

"But none of this is true."

_"How do you know?"_

"Aren't we the actual Samurai that your getting to know?"

_"That's questionable."_

"Why?"

This must be a test for his patients.

_"Well Shimada Kambei is wanted for identity theft." _

"I am not!"

Kambei shouted,Obviously still angry from earlier.

_"Okay then, See."_

"No not really."

_"We're moving on to the getting to know you part."_

"But none of it is true."

Heihachi was slightly confused.

_"Hayashida Heihachi...likes to dress up like a girl when he is alone."_

"Hey I only did that once!"

_"Hayashida Heihachi...thinks he is a pretty girl."_

"I only did that once! Once I tell you!"

_"Hayashida Heihachi...secretly likes Katayama Gorobei."_

"Hey wait a minute."

He had a small blush.

_"Hayashida Heiahchi...hates rice."_

Time stood still for a minute and a look of pure evil came from Heihachi as he looked around trying to see where the announcer was.

He turned his head and you could see flames in his eyes that promised pain in a slow torturing fashion as well as suspenseful music.

"I do not hate rice"

He said through gritted teeth.

_"I was only kidding...pysche."_

Heihachi now explodes.

"I DO NOT HATE RICE! IT'S MY FAVORITE FOOD.!"

He huffed and attempted to regain his composure.

_"Hayashida Heihachi has no patients."_

"With you no!"

_"Hayashida Heihachi is slightly evil."_

"You insulted my unquestionable love for rice by saying I did not like it! Nothing you say is true!"

_"Now you know, Now you know, Now you know Hayashida Heihachi."_

The camera started zooming out.

"No they don't, Everything you say is a lie!...almost everything you say is lie!

I love you rice!"

Next time on Know your Samurai it's Lady Kirara's turn!.

Authors Note:

I'm gonna have fun with her turn..

Mwahahahahaha..

Have a good day or night or both or whatever..

Finished. 10/19/2006, 09:19pm.


End file.
